Quick quiz for all of the teachers out there - WHAT DOES "EN LOCO PARENTIS" MEAN? What is this little phrase all about? What types of burdens and blessings does it carry? At first sight, and embarrassingly enough, during my first education class in college it appeared to mean 'the crazy parent.' The most reliable resource on the internet, Wikipedia, indicates that 'in loco parentis' refers to the assumption of some degree of parental responsibility of a an institution or non-biological parent. By the end of this post, you might favor my original definition!
I teach Biology and Environmental Science to the greatest group of students anybody could ever imagine. Granted, some of my students have attempted murder, some have attempted rape, others enjoy a good fire every now and again (at the expense of others), and the majority of them have lived their lives on some type of mind altering substance (not to mention shared their blessings with others for a small fee)- but, hey, we all make mistakes. I walked into my Biology classroom with the idea that I was going to change some kids! I was going to make a difference in their lives. These kids were going to be better off because of me! I would liken my first day teaching youth in a detention facility to the births of my children.
Susan Maushart speaks of birth as, "...the only way to gain control is to lose it..." On my first day of teaching, as well as the birth of my first daughter - I HAD A PLAN! My plan was great, NO my plan was AMAZING. There wasn't going to be a student that could escape my grips without totally converting to the societal definition of success and happiness. My plan was scheduled, my plan was flawless, I had truly thought of all of the little bends and curves that might befall me during class. My plan was weak, hummm, nope it was just SHIT. My attempt to control my situation, my surroundings, my classroom, my students' learning was not going to be successful on that day or any other. I'm not sure if you are seeing a pattern in my writing, but the underlying theme was "my." I was the center of my planning on that first day, and on that first day one of my first students let me know that I was not going to be the first person to control her actions. She flew the coup, I hit my 'man down' button, and resigned myself a failure at teaching the 'hard-to-teach.'
The birth of my first child had more similarities than differences. At the birth of my first child, I had a date all picked out for the induction, I had a plan to avoid medications and interventions, I relied on myself for my planning and thought little of the advice of others, and stepped up to bat with confidence. It wasn't less than 28-hours later that I had my daughter by my side in the warmer after multiple interventions, increased Pitocin doses, an epidural, and a quickly developing bought of post-partum depression. I had relied on myself, my plans, my ideals, and discounted the opinions, experiences, and expertise of others. I had ruled out the natural plan of the little person inside and the inability to control her.
In class, I quickly learned to absorb the advice of everyone surrounding me. Beware, this is DANGEROUS. Absorbing something doesn't mean that you don't discard it later if you don't find it to be helpful - and discard bits you must! Above and beyond listening to my principal, receptionist, maintenance men, fellow teachers, and guards I learned to listen to my students. I dropped the pride, picked up a solid brick of humility to keep my feet on the ground, and started fresh. I listened to their stories, I listened to their past experiences in school (or HUGE lack thereof), I listened to their desires, their interests, and I listened closely to them on the days that they told me to, "Fuck off."
As my journey 'in loco parentis' went on, both with my children and my students, I learned that being a parent, or in lieu of a parent, is not about control. My classroom became student centered, student directed learning (with a little guidance from me - hey, I'm a little controlling), and I fell in love with their strengths and their weaknesses. My students and my children have taught me more than I have taught them. It's not just a corny saying.
While I sit out on leave, I continue learning through my children at home while awaiting the birth of my newest child. But, there is a piece of me that longs to be with these students that I have grown to love like my own children. I miss the lessons that they taught me every day. I miss the growth that I experienced at their very able hands. I can only hope that my time with them has helped them learn a lot about science, a bit about relationships, and a smidge about the crazy parent that lives by the moto "in loco parentis."
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